Ain’t Nobody Got Time For Stomach Viruses

Every Monday, we try to exorcise the demons from our weekends so that we can have a fresh start for Monday. Here is what we’ve declared, “Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That!”

Julie had to deal with a sick daughter Emma all weekend. She has a massive stomach bug and has been vomiting non-stop. The whole family spent the weekend trying to cram on the tiny sofa while the patient was sprawled out on the big sofa. You could almost see the virus crawling on the sofa. You’re trying to love and hug on them without actually touching them. We have finally found something tougher than Chuck Norris and that’s the Up-Chuck Norovirus. Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That!

Feel better soon, Emma!!

John ain’t got time for the dumb things that he says. He was at the grocery store when his girlfriend sent him a text asking for ladies’ items from the aisle that all men dread, the tampon aisle. Being the great boyfriend, he bravely walks over and picks up a box of the brand she requested. Just then, a woman turned the corner to come down the aisle. She was attractive and kind of giggled. John looked at the box in his hand and blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “I get really bad nose bleeds.” The lady giggled and kept walking. Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That.

Tony has something to say to his almost-13-year-old Rottweiler, Mac. When you wake up to your dog making heaving noises, you expect that to be followed by food. What you don’t expect is a rug that was on the floor of the dog room that was devoured at some point during the night. Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That.


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